New Realtor got back to me today and is going to set up a time for us to look at the place this coming week!

I’m terrified and excited and yeah. I’m going to be crushed if this thing sucks because it ticks so many boxes, like almost all of them. As long as it is safe and isn’t lacking in septic, well, electrical, and roofing, it will be good. I also reached out to the bank to ask them if I can get approved for $400,000 since this place is a bit over my initial budget.

All day today I’ve just been thinking about this place and how it would be so nice and then the other part of my brain says things like “Are you sure this is a good idea? You won’t know anyone. What if something happens? What if you go crazy from only talking to your animals?” I counter these thoughts with, I’ll just sell the house if I find it was a bad idea. Just sell it, the same way anyone else does. Sell it and move to a condo. So that’s how it will be.

I’m going to be devastated if this thing is already sold or if it really sucks. I’ve definitely gotten my hopes up. But you know, I’m not going to kick myself much for that. I’m just going to enjoy it. If I don’t get it, there’s nothing lost. Things are perfectly fine here. And it also means that there will be an even better one to find.

My feeling on this from the beginning has been that I shouldn’t have to fight tooth and nail for it. I should have to work for it but it shouldn’t have to be a battle. So if it’s meant to be, it will be.

But I’m still scared because this is massive change. And I am a bit nervous about being so isolated from people. I’m close to people now and no one really visits me. I have one friend who has come over pretty regularly for the past year. But the rest of the visits have been fewer than 10 in two years. I’m not complaining. I don’t mind being alone.

This is definitely going to make my dating attempts even worse! Who’s going to want to drive an hour to see some girl who lives in the country by herself? Every day, I win Bumble when it tells me to change my filters because I’m out of people ha! Meh. I don’t need a person. I want one but I also want a new car. What if my neighbour is some hot divorced farmer who’s like 55 and happens to really like redheads? It could happen!

Oh I’m going to need to get a big dog and I’m laughing thinking about getting my family to give me things like shovels, rakes, an axe, etc as housewarming gifts! HA! I’ve never owned a shovel. Or a ladder. Or an axe. Or a lot of different things of that nature. I also think a snowblower will be necessary for the first winter.

See? This is what my brain is doing? Just thinking about all of these things. I feel like I did when I was a kid at Christmas before I stopped believing in Santa. It’s almost 2am and I’m not even remotely tired either. The excitement is exhilarating and also scary! Have I mentioned that this whole this is incredibly frightening? Because it is.

I wonder where I will put my couch. How will my bed get up the stairs? Will I fit up the stairs? They look narrow. Where will I put the addition for when my mom moves in? Do I convert the barn into a big house and convert the cabin into the barn? Ooooo that would be fun! Anyone want to sponsor this adventure? Pay me what I make at my job and I’ll make videos doing this stuff full time!

(P.S. the picture above is not of the cabin on the property)