It dawned on me just now that I don’t have the normal “Sunday night sads” that I normally get. Instead, I’m sitting here trying to determine if contentment is the same as boredom. And then that makes me think that I’ve either gotten too high or my mood is weird. My mood is weird though.

I felt like the darkness was crawling up my leg and asked the doctor to increase my depression meds. She agreed and so now I’m taking 30mg of Citalopram. I don’t feel sad. I just feel empty and the darkness feels like it’s getting close. I just started the med change on Wednesday so there are side effects happening for sure.

But what if this is just boredom or contentment? And is there even a difference between the two? I think boredom implies that there is an underlying sadness whereas contentment implies happiness. Is that the only difference? Is it just the perspective? You know, I could look up the definitions of both words but I’m a bit too lazy for that.

Boredom feels like something is missing whereas contentment feels like nothing is missing or at least accepting that something could be missing but being okay with it. When I think about a rainy afternoon, a bored person would want to be doing something somewhere whereas a content person would be happy just existing.

So can a content person be bored?

Wait where was I again? Right, the Sunday Sads. Normally, I’m all in my feelings and feeling like life sucks on Sunday nights. The worst I’d feel all week would be Sunday nights. Part of it is about Monday being the next day. Going to work and doing the same stuff over and over and over, for years and years, knowing that I won’t be able to retire. Then I’d jump to how alone I was and it was just a whole big thing.

But I haven’t felt like that in a while. It’s good. It’s not that I like my job any more or any less than my last job. It doesn’t matter the job. It’s the idea of it never ending.

Anyway, Percy goes to the vet tomorrow for the first time. I’m off for the day because it’s BC Day at head office. It’s also the Civic Holiday here in Ontario. Gonna take him to my Mom’s for a bit afterwards. I told her I’d spend the day with her. Percy is pretty social and Mom has litter there for him and things. I bet Moss is going to be pretty pissed when I bring Percy back with me LOL Poor fella. They are starting to get along, bit by bit. They ate next to each other last night. And today they chased each other a bit.

My friend was supposed to visit yesterday but he had to cancel. I was disappointed because I’ve not seen him in more than a month. But I shouldn’t be greedy with his time LOL The weekend still ended up being pretty good with a lot of writing, reading, thinking, watching TV, and loving my kitties. Percy is napping on my chest as I type this. Is there anything better in life? Not including money. Money would let me meet all of my cabin goals and make it so I didn’t have to worry about retiring. But other than that, there’s not much better than getting cuddles from a kitten.

Sleep time!