It’s Monday. The start of another work week. And this is a blog post or a journal entry or something. Long form skeets? Yes! I like that! This is a long form skeet!

It’s mid-year review time at work and that means objectives and goals so I spent today screwing around with what my goals should be and bugging the GPT to “make it sound more corporate”. I hate the entire concept of objectives and goals at work. I do my job. You tell me what you want done and I get it done. But, this is the corporate song and dance. It’s needed so they can give you a bonus. The way they make you justify your continued employment with paperwork that doesn’t really matter. I’m very cynical about this process if you weren’t able to pick up what I was setting down. I’ve even asked a previous employer to remove me from the bonus program to save them some money. They refused.

I can hear you thinking it. You’re thinking, “just fill out the paper work for free money, pStabs!” I say it to myself too. Just fill out the damn form and take the free money. I have such a hard time with it and I’m not entirely sure why. It’s not a difficult task to make a list. But the overall concept of this sort of evaluation is something I strongly object to. I’d like to, one day, understand why I’m so adverse to it.

Anyway, what I hate about it is that it’s all for show. Your bonus is not guaranteed. It’s always paid out based on budget and not accomplishment. They bell scores. Plus, so much of it comes down to how much your boss likes you. I know it’s made up. Management knows it’s made up. So why do we have to do this song and dance? Why can’t we just speak plainly?

I probably didn’t write enough. I’ll find out tomorrow when my manager and I go over what I’ve entered in so far. He has to do my mid-year review by the end of the month.

CPTSD wasn’t a thing when I was diagnosed. Much like how when I was growing up Autism didn’t exist. We know that it did exist, of course, but it wasn’t a thing. My brother and his oldest daughter are Autistic.

Anyway, I’d like a formal diagnosis of CPTSD if I can get one. Although, if I can heal it, maybe I don’t need the diagnosis? I’m not sure.

In fun facts, I went down a very deep rabbit hole a few months ago that landed me on tarot. Now, as an atheist, I don’t believe in spirits or things of that nature, however, I really enjoy how you can piece together little lift-me-up’s from the cards. I picked up a deck that is just gorgeous. It’s the Videns Illuminata Tarot Deck. (Not sponsored)

Today, when I was shuffling the cards (they smell new), the Strength card (pictured above) fell out. They call this a “jumper”. Per the book, the card “signifies inner courage, resilience, and mastery over fears. It advises you to confront challenges with grace and confidence”. I think that’s decent life advice, in general. Confidence is king and confronting a challenge head on is a good way to not avoid them. Growth comes from learnings when you confront things that are challenging. See what I mean? Good, general advice.

That’s what the book says, but when I look at the card, I see a young woman who loves cats. She is looking at the cat (which is probably just a normal cat that she’s envisioning as a big cat) with such love and kindness. And it has it’s eyes closed so it clearly loves her back. The card makes me feel happy and reminds me to go hug my kittie!

Anyway, that was my Monday and that’s what’s in my brain right now. I’m avoiding US news right now because I’m tired of it all. I’m sure I’ll post about politics at some point because everything is political but not tonight. Now it’s time to consume some legal leaf and do some stretches before playing Destiny 2 with my friend!

Before I go, how about them Epstein files, eh? I’m very disappointed in the cover-up job by the US Trump regime. I love a good conspiracy theory and they had so much opportunity to milk this thing and instead just said “nope nothing to see here”. The list is on the desk. The list doesn’t exist. The list was created by Obama and whoever else he is blaming today. Now he’s suing the Wallstreet Journal because they published a letter that was included in a leather bound book for Epstein. More posturing. I’d like to see Obama, Biden, Clinton, Harris, O’Donnel, and everyone else he routinely slanders and libels sue the every living F out of him civilly. He might be immune criminally but he’s not, to my knowledge, immune from civil suits.

I’m pretty sure it’s common knowledge that the current US leader is a pedo. He was always saying and doing stuff to women and girls in the pageants. And Epstein and he were besties. And he took part in the trafficking, pretty sure, with his modelling agencies, etc. He’s in deep with it. So is Bill Clinton. We’ve known this for a long time and the fact that he’s trying so hard to just brush it aside. Where was your creativity, Trump? You could figure out how to fake an assassination attempt but you can’t figure this out?!? Wait, HE didn’t figure out the staged thing out. I bet it was a McMahon, maybe Vince himself.

Anyway, I love conspiracy theories and Trump, like always, dropped the ball on this one. Could have played it so well. He should be fired.

Byeeeeeeeee